Houston, We have a Problem

The Rocket has issues.  Big issues.  He is past crashing,  and his ship is in the spontaneous combustion stage.  That’s what happens when you cheat in baseball, then lie about cheating to Congress.  You know that you have reached rock bottom when you are going to jail for both lying and cheating.  We have moved past talking about morals, cause we know that he has issues there,  and we are talking about him going to jail.  Clemens has stood by what he originally said and that he “has never taken steroids or HGH”.  Oh yeah, it probably just was vitamin C that Brian McNamee was giving you.  Just a little immune system boost.  Get real bud.  You look like a bigger fool now then when you appeared in the Mitchell report.

These were Roger’s options:

A- Admit to using steroids or whatever substance that you took,  take it like a man,  admit to cheating,  and salvage some dignity for coming clean.  Maybe when you appear on the Hall of Fame ballot,  some voters will take pity on a guy who made mistakes… a lot of mistakes,  and who took the punishment, and accepted it.  He still has won the most Cy Young’s in league history, and was an elite pitcher.  You may sneak into Cooperstown(I still don’t think he should be) and your legacy may be looked at for your career achievements,  not the drugs.

B- Deny all allegations,  then beg for a plea to stay out of the slammer.  You will look pathetic,  sound like a loser,  but you will be a pathetic loser who is not in jail.  Don’t even speak of the Hall of Fame.  Don’t even visit it,  you don’t deserve to even be in the presence of the games greats.

C-Deny, deny, deny.  This should effectively ruin any chance of being liked by any fan of the game,  and you will look at the judge, deny more, and end up in jail.  The only luck you may get is the celebrity jail time,  which seems to mean that celebs get one tenth of their deserved jail time.

So Roger, what is it going to be.  Just tell me which name you like: cheating scum,  or lying dirtbag.  Actually, I think I will use both. 

I am saddened by the fact that this guy was a Red Sox,  and I take pity with my fellow Boston faithful that this guy wore the uniform of our beloved Sox.  Lets try to remember the 20 k’s in a game, not the 20 lies in court.

I’ll  wrap things up before I really get mad at you Clemens.  I turn off the T.V I hear you defend yourself you pathetic liar.  Make sure to pack some skirts to jail you little girl.

Yours truly,

Shane